| This is after many broken hearts. I've read somewhere that some part of the North Europeans have a gene which prevents bonding, so it's easier for them to walk out of relationship. I am not able to find it anymore, maybe it's something to do with the Oxytocin receptors. So why not create a drug with similar effect for others? What i am writing below might be sexist but it's from experience. Since, i am a man i don't know woman's perspective. I am not bothered much by the loss of a person in relationship, what bothers me the herculean efforts I put including compromises, blood, sweat and sacrifices which is now lost. That Ferrari I bought for you, the sea side bungalow i gifted you. All the evenings i arranged for you and the vacations which we spent together, all lost. A man almost never only brings his body/mind/heart to the relationship, he brings with him the obsession to labor tirelessly for her comfort - destroying yourself to get that bonus which will statisfy her seems perfectly rational then. The value of those experiences drastically declines for me when I realize the person has separated from me. It's not very different than a teenager wanting his favourite couples in the movie to be in relationship or marriage in a real life. Once the relationship ends, i realize that person isn't even as beautiful as i always perceived them. The 7/10 girl looks 10/10 when you love her she gets back to 7/10 when the realationship ends. I wonder if the love is self dilllusion. |
After a break up, all the support a person has given you is still there. The effect of that person helping you in your life should have lasting inpact on you. It's a strange way to put it but see it as a tool. When you lose a tool nothing that was build with it will crumble. The house will stay up even if the hammer break.