Rather than pretending suicide isn't an option, putting it in its rightful last place is helping me manage my emotions. I'm a conscientious objector. If someone gives me a gun and tells me to shoot someone else, I'd rather turn it upon myself than kill another person.
Life sucks. Right now I'm going through a really tough time. So bad that I wanted to Shut Down. But instead I chose to Reboot. Got a plane ticket, flew on Wednesday, and now I'm 10,000 km from the problems and very relieved. I really, really hope that I can find a new job and restart life soon - my savings won't last more than a couple of months. But this is an emergency.
If it doesn't work out, becoming a monk is another possibility to retreat from the world. And if that doesn't work out, then perhaps prison. And extremely dangerous career choices, such as war zone photography. Bad circumstances will drive me to those first, before I'd hurt myself. If you're not afraid of death, you're fearless! You're free! That courage can be used to help people. Please try that first.
For people wanting to help, don't ask "What happened?" - that focuses on the problem. Say "Are you OK?", "What can I do to help you?" if you care about the solution.
I have 5 chronic diagnoses all considered separate (physical and mental) but in truth there is some underlying correlation between them.
The first thing I tackled was my sleep disorder, followed by being aggressive about reducing the stresses in my life that I could control. The sleep bit was more controlling routine than medicine- pretty much ever sleep pill was worthless for one reason or another.
It took a few years, but finally I was art a point where I could comfortably cope with everything but any sort of long term stress would bring back depression and anxiety. Lexapro has been amazing in that regard.
Ultimately, friends, family, and the private shame of how selfish my thoughts were kept me going, forcing a discipline, reducing stress, a few months of therapy and now medicine, and I feel like I haven't in 15 years.
Life sucks. Right now I'm going through a really tough time. So bad that I wanted to Shut Down. But instead I chose to Reboot. Got a plane ticket, flew on Wednesday, and now I'm 10,000 km from the problems and very relieved. I really, really hope that I can find a new job and restart life soon - my savings won't last more than a couple of months. But this is an emergency.
If it doesn't work out, becoming a monk is another possibility to retreat from the world. And if that doesn't work out, then perhaps prison. And extremely dangerous career choices, such as war zone photography. Bad circumstances will drive me to those first, before I'd hurt myself. If you're not afraid of death, you're fearless! You're free! That courage can be used to help people. Please try that first.
For people wanting to help, don't ask "What happened?" - that focuses on the problem. Say "Are you OK?", "What can I do to help you?" if you care about the solution.