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by doppel 2871 days ago
In Denmark, and probably elsewhere, we have the term "helicopter parents" for parents who constantly hover near their kids, never letting them out of sight. Similarly, we also have the term "curling parents", because they do everything to clear the path of their offspring (to the point of going to job interviews with them).

Both are obviously used in a teasing-not-quite-nice way to signal that maybe these parents should take a deep breath and assume that they raised their kids well, and that scraping your knee or getting frightened is something that happens in life sooner or later, and the parents' job is to guide and comfort their kids when they do happen.

There was a very high profile case (in DK at least) from 1997 about a mother who left her child outside the restaurant where she was eating (with line-of-sight to the stroller): https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/26/anette-soren...

I might not want to do the same in New York, but in Denmark no one would bat an eye if this happened.

3 comments

I recently visited a friend in Copenhagen and when I got to his place, a condo on the third floor, he mentioned that his kid was outside sleeping. I thought that he mentioned on the balcony and I thought "weird but ok". About half an hour later we left and I learnt that the kid wasn't on the balcony bit out, in the common garden of the building, where anyone could have just came in because the main gate was simply always wide open... I am not a parent yet and I don't want to be an helicopter parent, but that still kind of shocked me. Can't decide if in a good or bad way.
That’s how it works in a high-trust society. The idea that someone would just waltz into a courtyard and snatch a baby is just preposterous.
Tony Judt outlines some observations on the dynamics between social trust and cultural homogeneity in "Ill Fares the Land".

I guess the differences between America and Denmark are one manifestation of these differences

We had a similar bit of culture shock when we went to Copenhagen and saw parents leave their babies in strollers out in the cold while they ate or had coffee (baby was well wrapped and warm of course). That sort of thing would get the police called on you if you did it in the USA.
just look at how many sleeping babies are hurt in your country per year by strangers and base your decision on that
What's the most relevant threat?
We have the same words for it in Sweden, guess it's a Nordic thing because I've heard "curling" used in Norway too.
"Helicopter parent" is definitely used a lot here in the US.

"Curling parent" is new to me, but as a nation, we aren't really into Curling. You have to have a good image of the thing in your mind for it to really catch on as a phrase.

That said, I think it's a very good image for how those parents treat their children.

Canada is much more into Curling than we are, and I wonder if they use that term.

In the states I've heard the term 'bulldozer-parenting', but I like the curling one more now
Snowplow parenting too.
Well, if it's an apt term maybe its spread to the United States might make the overprotecting parents reflect.
”Helicopter parent” is definitely an international term. ”Curling parent” is then a local adaptation.
Yeah we use curling here in Norway. Same with helicopter.
14 month old child... it’s not unreasonable to expect that a 14 month old child would be supervised.

The police reaction was clearly over the top... but yea can’t say it reasonable to leave a 14 month old outside a restaurant in a busy city.