[cmurf]

>Is there a way to convince and persuade without alienating people?

In my opinion? No. Shame, humiliation, and ostracizing are the way to go. If they refuse to think dynamically or critically, they need to feel rejected from functioning society. In civil society, you follow certain normative rules and laws. If you don't, you get ejected on way or another. This is good.

Insanity transfer theory: (I made it up, could be specious, buyer beware.) Every person naturally generates a certain amount of insanity. To prevent unhealthy build up, you need to transfer your insanity onto other people. Basically the deniers are doing this to you, and it's making you nutty. So do it back to them. I suggest ad hominem attacks in this case because a.) the problem isn't about facts or arguments, these are flawed individuals actively denying reality and trying to spread lies. b.) name calling in such a case is fun, even if shaming them fails to change their behavior. Just make sure you have fun doing it. And if not, dump them. If you can't make fun of their stupidity, it's unhealthy to keep them around, they'll drive you crazy.

[eoincathal]

Nope. Can't take that line.

Colleague I'm not too bothered about - I wish I was better equiped to address the attempts to bring me towards "Hitler was ok" but this is a person I can walk away from. And that I'm unlikely to change.

And workwise, I need to be be assertive, but I think I'll always lose to the argument with this owner - facts be damned. And those higher up the food chain seem unwilling to say no.... This is a situation and behaviour I have little control over.

But my room-mate I upset. She's a good friend and I have no wish to reduce or demean her. The last thing on a trying day and I failed either to identify with her concerns or find a way to get her (or myself) to think about them. I just went off on one.