[toast_coder]

I'm desperate to start a business. Over 20 years of working in lead software dev positions and understand the grind that occurs in almost all organizations.

The counter point to your 'horribles', is that the support level you get inside organizations doesn't match the increase expections of a team, and that on larger teams the general level of aptitude approaches average. Occasionally having to work with people who are down right bad at their job. The very effect you espoused of 'company that would...' do all these things for you draws in alot of people who see it the same, and work it like, well, a job (not a calling, or career, or personal investment).

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. A regular wage from a company making money is a good thing, but a strong part of my being believes that I could be successful doing it on my own, and do it to the point of it being art.

Different people at different times in their lives might be more or less suited to one path or another. While i sympathize with the stress you might feel running a business i think there is alot of stress in working for an employer. The people not feeling stress inside companies are people who are coasting. When you're coasting, the part of your being that manifests itself as your work ethic, and professional skill dies a little every day.

[girzel]

Thanks for this. I think my current feeling is definitely a bit "grass is greener", and I'm overestimating how much help a larger company structure would provide. But I can't help thinking: running a company requires about nine different skill-sets/areas of expertise, and who has all those? If the job also involves time spent deep-diving into particular work (and literature is even more absorbing than coding), I don't see how one individual could balance the two.

But it's nice to see someone (presumably at a similar stage of life) heading in my direction from the other side. :)

[RobertRoberts]

I got a business coach, and took a small business course which connected me with other small businesses in my area. It was an invaluable lesson.

I was forced to read the book "E-Myth Revisited"[0] as my course material. It gave me incredible insight into delegating and many of the fundamental issues with running a small business.

Without my accountant and a few key, incredibly supportive clients, my business would have gone under a long time ago.

My business coach had started and sold a number of businesses, and was able to advise me on things that I would never have done on my own. Look for someone like this in your life, even if only temporarily.

My wife started helping with some aspects of the business as well, and I couldn't do it without her. You need help, period. I've trained 2 of my kids to build websites, one has moved on to college in some other industry and the other is interning at a bigger company (building websites). And I plan to teach my other kids as well, and have them help where possible.

What this taught me was that I can't do everything myself, and I don't want to anymore, it just sucks to do it on your own.

The best thing that happened recently is making friends with another local business owner, who also builds websites, but our business interests don't conflict, and we respect the others perspective a lot, so we get to hang out from time to time just to talk and have coffee. We understand the world in a way most others cannot. The struggle, the freedom and preasure, etc..

Keep looking for answers to your specific problems before giving up on your business.

[0] https://www.amazon.com/-Myth-Revisited-Small-Businesses-Abou...

[ak39]

girzel,

You have to “cheat”. Cheating is when you build your side project/business while employed. Some can arrange this but many simply can’t. I chose to quit a lucrative, somewhat stable consulting gig and with reliance on savings to start an independent software provider service in the same field. Boy did I learn about the same skills shortage spoken about in this thread and the article! The emotional rollercoaster point is so true. If you cannot regulate your emotions (basically become a stoic), it will hurt no end.

It’s been 5 years since I started and I have only managed one enterprise sale (that sale itself took me two years to sign). Been hobbling along in zero growth purgatory since. If this client cancels I am fucked.

It is easier to imagine a life of zero responsibility and drastically reduced stress and anxiety. It’s a fantasy for me now imagining myself “cruising” (another poster’s word) at a full time job. I am 45 now and jokingly imagine myself unemployable. I wouldn’t last a day being microanaged.

My autonomy is important to me. My autonomy gives me full control over how I develop my craft on my own schedule.

When asked by people how things are going, it’s always “fine! Great! All good!” (But the ruse is only as thin or thick as my skin)!

[Drdrdrq]

> I am 45 now and jokingly imagine myself unemployable.

You are not, far from it. Running your own business has taught you many lessons which will come very handy when looking for a job. At least that's my experience.

[lowercased]

> Running your own business has taught you many lessons which will come very handy when looking for a job.

I imagine it's very dependent on what you do, what your skills are, and what type of industry you're in (and, finally, who is interviewing you). I've done my own software dev/consulting for a decade now and am possibly unemployable (or, at least, for most positions). "Standard" dev jobs - I've interviewed for some, and may be intimidating to some (and yeah, I realize this may be a full-of-shit self-aggrandizement view of myself too). For a decade, when coming in to a project, I'm typically given a wide range of access to multiple people, and a wide variety of information, to help make the best decisions possible. I've interviewed for "development jobs", and the environments are typically the opposite - info lockdown, do the assigned tasks, etc.

I've been in those situations, and watched as companies go under because of bad decisions, and can't easily deal with not having more info access to understand the decisions/directions (even if I don't agree with them, seeing the bigger picture can help me accept, or... start to look elsewhere).

So... yeah, the GP (and myself) may not be completely unemployable, but the sorts of 'jobs' where someone wants the sort of experience someone has running their own business... they aren't as plentiful, and often don't get advertised (and likely aren't going to be the sort of thing body-shop recruiters are going to be reaching out to you about). (and age is no doubt a factor as well - I'm north of 40 and think 'employability' is thinner than it was for me 15 years ago).

[Drdrdrq]

I agree that being employed as a regular developer gets harder and harder with age and with experience outside of dev world, but at the same time you are getting better and better at positions which require more business skills, like team lead (if your tech skills are still good enough) / product manager / CTO / tech cofounder / ... There are many companies that don't know they need this kind of person, and it might be difficult to find a match. But once you're in, you can make a huge difference with this skill set.

[lowercased]

> There are many companies that don't know they need this kind of person, and it might be difficult to find a match.

that sounds like a different angle of saying what I was saying. if a company doesn't know they have a need for what my skills are, i'm less likely to employed by them. if the majority of companies in an area also don't know they have a need for my skills, i'm less employable (or perhaps unemployable) in a particular area.

i've gotten way too good at seeing roadblocks well before other people do, and the roadblocks are almost always nontechnical. This can be taken as 'having a negative attitude', but it's just pragmatism born out of experience (yes, understood, my delivery/tone may play a part in this, but sometimes I'm just the guy saying something that someone above me doesn't want to hear). As an external consultant, you're brought in to be able to say those hard things that people perhaps can't say for themselves. As an employee... you're potentially "toxic".

[pixelbash]

Echoing this myself. I swore off having a boss again after my last (also only) position in an agency. After six years sometimes I look at those 180k remote jobs with a wistful eye. But the chance of getting to that point with a company I built.. That feeling makes wearing all those hats and all those laste nights worth it.

[cerberusss]

Maybe you simply need a change of work. Nothing wrong with that. You could weigh the pros and cons until the cows come home, but that doesn't change the fact that a change is welcome.

[bitexploder]

The truth is the stability of most large employers is a myth. I think your stress working for an employer is well founded. As a small business owner I have never felt more fulfilled and stable in my entire career (19 years). We ended up building a consulting business and we are now 16 people. Each hire is like a family member. It isn't software that scales exponentially. 16 consultants is like a 100-300 person software startup with venture capital in terms of where the businesses would be if equally successful. Anyway, my main point, large businesses sway with market forces just like small businesses. Small businesses do suffer from localized variance, but on the whole small businesses aren't any more inherently unstable than big ones. Ownership mentality vs employee mentality. Owners, even as employees, always experience a mental tension to make things better and improve things. They thrive on autonomy and freedom. Smart businesses let owner minded employees do their thing within reason, because they are often the heart of successful small business.