| “Jill makes a fantastic role model…because she is married, has two children and has been able to keep up with her research.” It’s hard to imagine anyone saying this about a scientist named Bill. I'm actually cool with the Finkbeiner Test being a thing. But I will note that there are reasons such things get talked about. I was one of the top ranked students of my graduating high school class. With having also been State Alternate for The Governor's Honors Program -- a live in summer enrichment program for the gifted -- I was one of the best students in my entire state. And I turned down a National Merit Scholarship, attended the local college for a bit, quit school and spent a couple of decades as a full-time mom and homemaker. I spent a lot of years trying to figure out why I failed to get the two career couple lifestyle I fully expected when I first got married. There were a lot of factors there, but a lot of it is rooted in old fashioned gender roles. I'm handicapped. This is a contributing factor to my lack of a real career. But Stephen Hawking was also seriously handicapped. He had a real career. I have two special needs kids. So do lots of men with serious careers. When there are special needs in the family, it is typically some woman who ends up with the task of dealing with it. I was a military wife and the entire military structure is rooted in a historical expectation that men are soldiers, they are heterosexual and have a wife at home and she is largely doing the homemaker thing and supporting his career. This actually works fairly well in many ways -- until you get divorced and find you have no references for a resume because you have little work experience, you moved around, you didn't keep in touch, etc. Meanwhile, the ex still works for the government doing similar work to what he did when he was active duty military and his finances are just fine, judging by the big house, new wife, nice vehicles, etc. So part of why we mention those things is because a lot of women -- me included -- sit around wondering "What the hell do I need to do different? Is it just not possible to be married and also have a serious career as a woman? How does this work?" So it's valuable information to know that, yes, there are married women with actual careers. And then the next question is "So, okay, what is different about their marriage compared to mine? What do I need to change here if I am ever going to stop being a second class citizen?" And that's not something you really want to ask personal acquaintances. That's a good way to find yourself blacklisted, so to speak. So we go searching articles and hoping for crumbs of clues. |