[lazyasciiart]

> At least when you black out on alcohol, your motor abilities are severely impaired, to the point that you're just as likely to simply pass out before you make it outside.

That may be true for you, but it is completely false as a general statement. It is quite possible and very common for someone to be blacked out on alcohol while still functioning, sometimes appearing sober enough that people around them have no idea - they can carry on conversations, drive somewhere, hook up and have sex, it has even been used as defence in a murder case.