[Tmp1234]

You're not wrong that there's a mental health issue at hand. There's also a lot riding on my ability to do these leetcode questions. I've been talking to councilors for the past decade, but I'm at a point where I need to be financially independent. I wrote more about it in this comment:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17594084

[oliwarner]

But why do you want to work somewhere where you have this grotesquely irrelevant gauntlet? A silly interview process doesn't mean it's a good job or a good company, it just means they've got more applicants than they know what to do with.

I know there's a lot of pressure here to work a 80h week but you can be financially independent without pressure. Just pick your battle.

You've got a skill. Believe it or not, programmers are needed all around the world. The pay is dramatically variable but so are living costs. Move. Find a nice town with a small software company that's hiring and start a life. Get your head straight. Read. Get a hobby. It's all much easier when you're not blowing $3k/month on a 1 bed studio.

You can also work shunt jobs directly for companies. Build websites, build apps. Lots of project management and quoting for things that never come to fruition but it's a job and very little overhead.

I'm not trying to put you down. I'm sure you can jump start you happiness the way you're desperately trying to... But stepping into a low pressure job somewhere where it's dirt cheap to live is a much healthier approach to the problem you have.