[DoofusOfDeath]

I'll second this. I'm not a counselor, but my guess it that your anxiety is coloring your perception and performance of programming tasks.

I strongly suggest you make some time with a counselor, and let him/her help you understand the real causes of your anxiety, and find a path towards managing it. This is what they do for a living, and AFAICT most of them are pretty decent at it.

My guess is that you'll have a better chance of enjoying programming, and perhaps performing better at it, once you get a handle on the anxiety.