| Having two kids was the worst time for me: I was still totally inexperienced and I now had two kids waking me up. Two things that helped me a lot: - don't let a child fall asleep with anything they cannot have the whole night (speaking of >6-12 months). No music, no falling asleep in front of a screen, make sure they don't fall asleep while drinking their last meal for the day. By all means: tell stories, sing, and make sure they get milk before they fall asleep though. The reason is, as far as I know that we subconsciously verify that everything is ok multiple times a night. For small kids that means everything is like it was: if there was music or if dad or mom was in the room - that's what they'll expect during the night. - small children have to learn to fall asleep. We understand that kids needs help to learn eating real food, walking, talking etc, but it seems at least in my culture we somehow expect kids to understand how to fall asleep. They usually don't, and so the parents get worried: is there anything wrong? Maybe the kid is still hungry? Or afraid? Instead I've learned to be very clear with myself and my wife when we start teaching the kids to sleep: - I make sure the child is ok: not hungry, happy etc - when I put them to bed I make sure they only have things they can keep all night, generally one (safe) toy and a pacifier (don't want to defend pacifier much but what made me decide for it was a slightly lowered risk of SIDS according to one doctor) - the I sing a small song, say a few words and leave the room. The words I say before leaving are the same, every time. - I then walk outside and start a timer for 60 seconds, walk in (even if they are silent, verify they are ok, say the same words, walk out, start a timer for 180 seconds and wait. I do this until I'm sure they are asleep. In particular I keep visiting the room every three minutes even if they are happy. This reinforces the idea that you'll look after them. If they aren't happy I give them the pacifier and toy, say the same words, leave. - next day: first 3 minutes (180 seconds), then 5 minutes intervals until they are asleep. - increase by two minutes every day (but usually my kids get it by the second or third day: Dad has not left, he'll be back soon enough even if I don't cry so I can just relax and play with this toy.) - for my first kid it took more like a week because I waited for too long before I started sleep training. Edit: - Do use a timer! - Do walk in even if the kid is just falling asleep! - Do use the timer once to verify that the kids are actually asleep after you think they fell asleep! |