| Okay, first off, if you'd like to email me, my email is in my profile. Second, I understand how it feels to struggle. I'm far from an elite 20x developer, but I've worked with many less experienced developers. I'd be glad to work on something with you and hopefully give you some pointers. Third, I'm going to ask you a pointed question. You don't have to answer it here, but I'd like you to think about it. Do you feel like you're too dumb to program? If yes, seriously my friend, that attitude is a fucking cancer that will ruin your life. I need to repeat that. Telling yourself that you're too dumb to do something is a cancer that will ruin your fucking life. I can tell you beyond any doubt that you are 100% capable of programming. I believe that because of the tenacity you've shown in this thread. You got some harsh responses, but kept pushing and pushing. And, I'd argue that you got shit done here because I'll answer most of those questions via email. If I had the means, I would hire you right now because you're a tenacious person who gets shit done. Personally, I would rather work with one tenacious developer who gets shit done than five incredibly intelligent developers who never ship. And, I would bet you a pint that I'm not the only person reading this who agrees. Also, remember that there are different career paths within programming. There is a little bit of room for geniuses to keep pushing the art forward. And there is a lot of room for bulldogs to stand on the shoulders of those giants and build shit that works. Maybe at the top end, extreme intelligence is highly valued. But for the masses, it's more important to be able to communicate well in writing, ask for help, learn from others and learn to understand how others solve problems. Finally, I'm glad that both conditions are true. Don't worry about IQ in particular. It might be a good measure for certain kinds of developers, but it's likely not applicable to the industry as a whole. Or maybe it is and I'm not smart enough to realize that? But, I would worry if repetitive debates that go nowhere bother you. A big part of the socio-political part of the job is learning how to debate with people with strong personalities. I just about guarantee that after you have ten years under your belt, you will look back and realize that you've had the exact same debate (down to the word) hundreds of times in your career. It can start to feel like you're on Reddit, but if you go into these conversations with a sense of openness and wonder, you might find that you either learn or teach something every debate. It strikes me (and I have nothing to back this up) that debate is how our culture transmits knowledge and war stories to the next generation. Point being, in the industry, debates happen and some get very repetitive. Hell, I've been on otherwise amazing teams where we have debated the same issue for months... The other point is that I'm sorry you're struggling. Email me if you feel comfortable - I'd be glad to work on a project with you, or try to get you past any blocks. But bud, trust me, the tenacity you showed here more than qualifies you to be a developer. You can do this. |