[jolmg]

When I came into this thread I was expecting nothing more than the title question, and anecdotes as responses.

However, the question body is a deep survey over various details of our lives, and you're not even putting internet reputation at stake. It seems inappropriate to ask so many questions. The language as it changes towards the end also invokes distrust. For example,

> Please, don’t post if ...

You ask so much of us and still you put conditions over who you want to listen to? Really? It doesn't sound like a favour, anymore.

[Tmp1234]

I don't understand your point about putting internet reputation at stake. If someone well known and respected asked this question here and people responded earnestly and completely the information is still public and could be accessed by me or anyone else. Thus, the risks are the same regardless of asks the question, aren't they?

As for the length and quantity of the questions, I was just trying to help people think through their responses and specify what I'm interested in learning. The "please don't post if..." part is because whenever I've mentioned IQ in this context there's a huge backlash and every rushes to talk about how it's not important. I wanted to avoid that, but I can see how it rubs people the wrong way.

In the end, this seems a lot more like evoking dislike rather than distrust. The two don't correlate in my brain. I've met many charming people who were not trustworthy and plenty of off putting people who are highly moral. Maybe, I'm really not getting something though.

[jolmg]

Well, if it's lack of charm, it can only be the wording. I can't see or hear you. Like hluska said, it's a matter of softening your approach.

About your question on what invokes distrust, you ask too many personal questions. Where we work, our position, how much we make, where we went to school. By the volume of questions, I interpret that you want to know as much as possible about us. That leads me to believe that you also want the questions answered as precisely as possible, like being able to get the addresses of the schools and work buildings. And all this to be published publicly and left for eternity on the internet.

Let me put it another way. If a random stranger in the street or a restaurant or something started talking to you, basically asking question after question like those you put here. Would you not be suspicious of him? Why would you answer him?

About reputation, it's not about being well known, it's about having a stable identity. Using a throwaway account makes it seem like you don't want to associate yourself with this post. That's a minor point, though.

Anyways, sorry about my own wording if it's harsh. I might be a bit cranky, right now.

[Tmp1234]

Nothing about what you wrote is harsh imo.

The questions are just to cast the largest net. Anything someone doesn't want to answer they won't just as no one has responded to the question. I assumed anyone who posted on my thread would share the minimal information. It's not like I have a gun to anyone's head.

I'd view the random stranger thing differently because there's no way anonymous. Here, there is. Plus, a person in your face tends to make people react with more of a sense of obligation than text.