[ripsawridge]

"I don't know what more you want."

I think rabboRubble was just offering good practical advice: the "prostration" OP offers has at least a hint of insincerity about it, and isn't serving anyone. OP should follow the advice and concentrate on his positive contributions he can make.

Excessive prostration can become a way of saying this is why I failed, and look, you people in the cruel world didn't support me. It's manipulative.

I think taking full responsibility means accepting that you may never work again, and that society may withdraw it's support from you completely. You may even die due to lack of resources (banishment). If you can hold that space without any anger, then you can be readmitted, because the kernel of resentment that started the whole thing has been fully burned up.

Without this step, the life pattern that creates wells of resentment is still active in you, and will recur, possibly disguised but still "hinky" (I like that word :p).