[Verdex_3]

Here's a thought experiment. What if corporations hired a bunch of people whose job it was to be genuinely happy that it was your birthday. Maybe they divide their user group into days such that each day one of these employees would only be responsible for feeling happy about one or two users' birthdays. This employee would send you the email. And they would be happy about it and truly glad that it is your birthday.

Is this situation more or less dystopian?

[maerF0x0]

more. It's manipulative because they want something out of you. They want you to _feel_ closer to them than you truly are, so that you _feel_ something such that you bring them more business.

Having your emotions manipulated such that you feel closer to your flight attendant means you may spend money on their airline like you're friends. But the truth will come out when the plane lands and you say "Hey, wanna go see a movie?" and they're horrified. The problem is that it's pretend w/ a cause. If it was just pretend and both were on board, it would be like children. If it was genuine, then all the better-- few things are better than genuine friendship.

[Kluny]

More. The more companies make a fuss about birthdays, the more it takes the fun out of it. I no longer wish people a happy birthday on facebook because of the way facebook shoves it in my face all the time. There are like three people I say happy birthday to - facebook may remind me of them, but I call them on the telephone to say it. I use Jan 1, 1970 as my birthday any time a site asks me for it.

[tetha]

A lot more.

If you don't know me, what does it mean? Maybe I'm terminally ill and every birthday is just a reminder of time running out. Or maybe I'm terminally ill and I don't care? How could someone know this without knowing me personally.

I guess that's a german culture thing. Don't try to be a friend unless you're willing to undersetand a person and support them even through bad times.

[SuoDuanDao]

Depends. You're basically describing a morale officer, like Neelix from Star Trek, or an empath from Sid Meyer's Alpha Centauri. Or one of Jack Ma's 'High EQ' people.

I would much prefer working at a place where people liked me, even if they had been hired because they were more likely to like everyone. But not if they become the sin eaters of the group because they produce no useful work, or they have no autonomy in what they do to raise morale.

[clevergadget]

This reminds me of the question - if you feel guilty for doing a terrible thing, is it somehow more forgivable? If it isn't, why are we so horrified when someone does a terrible thing and doesn't feel guilty later?

[mmt]

I'm not sure it's what you intended.. but here's my stab at what you're getting at.

The key is that forgiveness is primarily about (and, arguably, for the benefit of) the emotional state of the one granting the forgiveness.

It can be granted independent of any feelings of guilt (which are impossible to know for sure) on the part of the recipient.

Similarly, someone else's happiness about my birthday is irrelevant to me if I don't care about that someone, no matter how genuine that happiness is.