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by amorphid 2926 days ago
I identify with much of what you say. For a long time I did not have the skills to deal with these feelings. Now I do, but it's always hard. A lot of this I got from about 18 months of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Here are some general tips that work for me:

1. Feelings do not need to drive how I make decisions. I have them, and work on ways to let them pass.

2. To deal with things I worry about, I confront my worries by trying, making mistakes, and learning from the experience.

3. I get better at things I can control myself, practice finding alternative approaches for things I can't control, try to steer clear of stuff that is just gonna be a problem for me, and accept that sometimes I'm gonna have to endure shit that rolls my way

4. It's a lot easier to feel good when I'm actively seeking out things to enjoy, and lately I've found a lot of joy in pole dancing (and I'm 43 y/o overweight male couch potato!)

5. Unsecured debt sucks and always makes me feel like crap & that makes everything I do harder

I believe you can be a confident badass if you want to be. If you wanna vent w/o judgement, hear my story, or chat in general, my email is in my profile.

I wish you success on your journey to less angst & more satisfaction!

1 comments

5. Unsecured debt is unsecured! You should feel free by that! They took the risk on you! If you can't pay, don't.. yes your credit will hurt and it will hurt some future plans potentially but at the same time it is not the end of the world.
I see you've never had student loans in the USA :) There's no way to escape those unless you're in a permanent coma and Obama is still POTUS.
Student loans are secured. They are secured to your future income, tax refunds, and social security. Only dischargeable in extreme hardship. They are basically the most secure debt in the country.