[borncrusader]

I read this post yesterday and I couldn't really sleep much and kept thinking about this. This resonates with me so much - the job part, wanting to work on something much cooler, saving up, spending for family etc.

I've come to realize that this is mostly because I have too high standards for myself that I'm in constant pursuit of something that doesn't even exist. What I'm saying might not really make sense to you, but it's ok to take slow. Just focus on having people around you. I was in a similar state last year and the only positive that was happening in my life was my time with my girlfriend and now wife. I occasionally have these depressing thoughts but I just now think about the positives in my life right now and feel grateful for them. Trust me, it could be really really worse. I've had friends who had spouses cheating on them, younger cousins whose parents died, friends who have special children etc. and in perspective what me (and you) are going through is not that big a deal. In fact, in the grand scheme of things it means squat.

Based on your post, you were raised with a typical middle-class mindset in a developing country like India where you are told - do this and you'll be successful. Get good grades and do well and you'll be lauded. I was raised like that as well. But you come to the US (especially the bay area) and there's immense competition for a very few number of resources. Suddenly, all your previous tactics don't work. You want to one-up folks, you have positions in "cool" companies as your benchmark. Trust me, I know folks who work in Google/Facebook who work on mundane data cleaning and API calling jobs.

I can go ramble and ramble on but in a gist it's just this. Focus on the positive things in life. It might be hard to look at them right now but take a step back and evaluate it. It can be as simple as something like the barista at your cafe smiled at you today. Start writing small lists of about 10 items that you are grateful for everyday. Take up a hobby. It's ok if you suck at it too. Diversify. Listen to music. Learn to play the guitar. Talk to folks randomly on the phone. Read books. Stoicism is a good tool to use. I'm an amateur stoic and the writings of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca or even modern day stoics like Ryan Holiday resonate with me. Lurk around on reddit.com/r/stoicism for more details.

Life can be fun if you want it to be man. Email me at [My HN username] AT gmail.com if you wanna talk more.

God speed!