[mercutio2]

This is pretty clearly a joke, but it’s a bad joke, so I’m going to respond on the meta.

Cheating on a partner in a committed relationship is not polyamory. Polyamory is a relationship predicated on communication about boundaries and desires across the relationship chain.

We’re not socialized to communicate about relationships very well, and especially about intimate relationships, so this is sometimes hard for people to imagine.

[internetman55]

It's posted as a joke, but this something that actually happened. I feel like the emotions underlying relationships are quite strong (given that my grandfather was shot in the face over it) and we should recognize that experimenting carries risks.

[mercutio2]

Well, that’s a pretty fascinating story, thanks for sharing!

It may be hard to know two generations removed, but I’m curious: Are you saying your grandfather’s potential paramour broached the subject with her husband, without first being emotionally or physically unfaithful, and the husband went after your grandfather?

Or are you saying the husband was actively supportive of a change in the commitment at one point, then changed his mind?

If it’s either of those two, then OK, I take your point, people can be violent, and opening Pandora’s box can bring out that violence.

But if there was cheating, even if only emotional, without getting buy-in from an existing partner, than I don’t see that as a ding against polyamory (anecdotal or otherwise).

To be clear, I haven’t been involved in a polyamorous relationship myself in decades, so I don’t really have a dog in a fight here. But I have seen polyamory work well for many of my friends.