[donutte]

For what it’s worth, I’m poly and I disagree with that characterization. Polyamorous relationships are held to a different standard.

A monogamous relationship where everyone isn’t having their needs met can continue in perpetuity, for one reason or another. Such a polyamorous relationship is more unstable and likely to end more swiftly and decisively. It’s possible to see that as a good thing.

(If you buy this reading, “open relationships hurt marriages” isn’t a story about failing poly relationships, it’s a story about monogomous relationships that already failed without anyone noticing.)

[montagg]

I guess one could say both are a lot of work, you’re just doing different work.

In my experience, poly relationships fail faster, when one doesn’t do the work, than monogamous relationships, which can linger longer with dysfunction that doesn’t get addressed. But I think it’s also important to acknowledge that these aren’t ever hard and fast characterizations—these have been my views from first- or second-hand experiences with poly, but human relationships vary considerably, and my experiences (and insights) certainly won’t match everyone’s.

[magduf]

>In my experience, poly relationships fail faster, when one doesn’t do the work, than monogamous relationships, which can linger longer with dysfunction that doesn’t get addressed.

Well it kinda makes sense. If you have other options, or even already have another intimate partner, that makes it a lot easier to just bail out of a relationship that isn't working out, instead of sticking around hoping things change.