[codingdave]

A few points come to mind:

1) It is none of your company's business what you do in your spare time, as long as you don't attach their name to it. However, if you are going to events to give talks using their name, their funding, or with time you have committed to them, then they do have some say in it. Whether or not their requests are reasonable comes down to the next point...

2) As other comments have said, "managing your manager" implies a mismatch in the relationship. You should have open communications with your manager, and be able to talk through both positive and negative aspects of your situation. That isn't easy for all people, but if you approach it as a communication problem to resolve, it is easier to be positive about the process.

3) If you sincerely try to improve communications, negotiate perspectives, and just aren't able to get to a place where things are going well, you have a choice to make: Live with it, or leave. If you choose to live with it, that is when a 'thick skin' comes into play.

[singluere]

Thanks for the advice. I've been trying to improve communication on my end but somehow I feel it has not improved. Given the power dynamics in a manager/report relationship, I feel that with certain managers its more difficult to get on the same page.