[Broken_Hippo]

Go and see a doctor. Seriously. Even without this, figure out how to do things you want in life even if you don't feel like it.

I don't know about some of the other advice. Eating habits don't seem to work for me, and following a strict diet makes things worse because I spend a lot of time worrying about food if I do that. Exercise? I've never found any exercise I enjoy when I'm content, let alone trying to get the energy up to actually follow through with it. The only way I can work that in is if I walk as my primary transportation.

Having a structured day helps me a little bit, but this is simply because it doesn't give my brain time to ruminate as much. Meditation seems unbearable if I'm depressed. The sessions themselves aren't so bad, but I obsess with it off and on through the day. Mindfulness just makes me feel anxious because I'm constantly worried that I'm not normal and I can't tell if that is true or not.

Now, the things that have helped keep depression away have been different. I couldn't do this stuff in the depths of depression, but making the changes changed my life outlook. I do get mild depression now, but it doesn't last as long nor feel as bad. I made life changes. I got in a stable, loving relationship after ending a bad one. I moved, which gave me a little more control over myself and how I acted because expectations changed. I did MDMA. Not that this is something for everyone nor actually legal, but it let me parse out some of the things in my head. The weeks after taking were an eye-opener.

[inieves]

Can you comment on your post-MDMA weeks? Why/how were they an eye opener? Any more detail would be interesting to learn about.

[Broken_Hippo]

It was like someone massaged my thoughts or rinsed off my brain. Maybe it is more like a reboot. In any case, my brain felt good. So many thoughts that were negative just didn't have the same sort of affect on everything else. My worries had a different sort of framing on them. I could look at some of these things and make a reasonable decision about them. Some things, sure, I need to work on - but I was a bit more motivated to actually do so. Other things, I was able to make a decision not to be bothered by them. Since I had some time without so much mental stress, it wasn't so difficult to teach myself that those things were a bit ridiculous. I had a better sense of personal well-being and self-love that has stuck around.

I imagine doing this with an actual therapist would be even more helpful. I completely understand why it seems like a miracle for mental health in drug trials.

I've done other sorts of drugs in my life - lsd, for example. While they shaped some of my perception and thoughts about the world and life, nothing was quite like this. I couldn't describe myself as unhappy before, but now I'm really content with life.

I should now mention that I would urge folks to have caution. I can understand how folks would get addicted to it. And there is a risk of simply doing it too often and actually having the opposite effect. This is something to do occasionally, not every weekend or even once a month. The most profound change was the first time: I've done it since then, and it while (for me) it reinforces the things I learned the first time and still feel mentally refreshed the next day, it simply isn't as large of a change.

Another small sidenote: I've done it with my spouse. It also strengthened our relationship as well simply because we basically sat and talked positively for hours.

[paulcole]

One time when I was younger, I babysat for a family. They said it was fine to watch TV while their kids slept. The reception was fuzzy and static-y but I still watched it. After a few hours, I got used to the fuzz and bad reception.

Then they came home, saw me watching and said, "oh you've got to turn off the VCR." They did that and the picture became impossibly crystal clear. I was floored by what I had been missing and how I had convinced myself that things before were "fine."

Had pretty much the same experience the first few weeks after taking MDMA. Felt like someone had improved the reception on the world and turned off the static and noise.