[floil]

This probably doesn't help OP but might help a reader who's facing the same logjam and qualifies: see if your employer (or a family member's) offers a benefit through https://www.lyrahealth.com/ . It is a super streamlined process that takes all the pain away of triaging what's going on and figuring out which type of provider to use, and then selecting one. I got it through my wife's employer even though I'm not on her medical insurance. There's a diagnostic survey, then they suggest some providers (with a strong default choice, which makes a huge difference), and even help you draft the appointment request email. And they follow up to make sure you get help. It still feels like you're owning the request for help, which is pretty important -- it just puts the whole process on rails.

Depression can take away your ability to complete any of the above steps... I know because I didn't get help for years because of the (minor, but thanks to depression, major) hurdle of finding a suitable provider through my work benefits.

Therapy works, y'all.

[floil]

Find out if it works for you by typing your employers name (or your spouse's/parent's/etc - coverage seems to be for "family") here: https://care.lyrahealth.com