[grkvlt]

Exactly, and saying things like "You arent a failure" to someone who has quite obviously failed at their attempts to be a software engineer and business owner is sending the wrong message. If somethings is going wrong with your life, it's not helpful to ignore that and pretend everything is great. The cognitive dissonance involved with that will put a huge strain on you, and possibly make the problem worse.

From what the OP has said, it would seem that in their current state they are not capable of working as a programmer right now. I would recommend getting help for the depression and anxiety first, and then working on software engineering skills until they are more confident and capable. The 50K USD should allow them some leeway to do this without needing to find work immediately, which will help.

Good luck.

[brndn]

Failing at something doesn't make a person a failure or else we would all be failures. Do you really thing extra compassion towards a person contemplating suicide is such a bad thing? Or is being 100% correct in your words more important? I know we're on a message board, but OP is a real person with real feelings in a pretty fragile state right now.

[grkvlt]

I could have been clearer, I suppose - of course I'm not saying that the OP was a failure, but I was saying that they failed at the things they attempted, i.e. software engineering, and platitudes that gloss over this aren't helpful, since the cognitive dissonance and load will often make the mental issues worse.