[aragorn2]

I don’t know if this is what you mean: I have learned to pretend like I care. To put on a smile on my kids’ birthdays, when deep inside I feel sorry for them. They are so happy now, not suspecting what awaits them when they grow up.

[maxander]

It doesn’t have to happen to them, they can grow up as happy as they are now. One good reason to seek help for yourself, and recover from your depression, is to give your children an example of how to respond if/when it happens to them.

[aragorn2]

That is a beautiful thought. I like it.

Can I mark this as an answer? :) yes spending too much time on SO.