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by hycaria
2943 days ago
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>In retrospect, she was copying my problems as a person, so it's not her fault. Care to elaborate ? And what could she do anyways ? Launch a discussion that friends would be too absorbed to follow ? Although I hope there might be a small minority of parents who don't buy their children phones (because of conviction or lack of money) and that eventually they could end up befriending each other, far from instagram and snapchat. But maybe thats wishful thinking. |
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I found that adults can have "mental challenges" that if a child has the same thing, acts differently. For example, I was quite sarcastic as a parent, and having a child be sarcastic to other kids and adults is often disrespectful because they don't know how to "be sarcastic" correctly, or know when it's not appropriate.
When I told my daughter to put her phone down at dinner, or play a game with her siblings, something she had no issue doing before, she reacted harshly in response. I was a very stressed out and tense parent and reacted harshly, and not patiently. So she was mimicing my behavior when she also got stressed and didn't know how to deal with the emotions.
Contrast this with her younger siblings, who I was much more patient with, and when I asked them to put their devices down,if they didn't want to, I was more patient with them. I didn't give up on the request, but I also gave them a little time to put the things down. Which they always do.
>Although I hope there might be a small minority of parents who don't buy their children phones...
A very small minority in my experience. Some parents give their kids high-end iphones when they are in grade school.
My rules are simple. They got a "device" (could be phone without a cell account) when there were 13-14. Limited screen time "asked of them" (I really want them to learn to be responsible, so I don't set hard limits, I taught them to notice how tiring and wastful the time is, and they monitor themselves well), no screen locks, no social media, etc... When they are 16, they can drive and if they want cell connection, they pay for it themselves. (inexpensive extra line on family plan) Garners responsibility, and the expectations are "people over devices". And then also "people next to you over people online".
But I've seen a backlash in kids that are now older, becoming adults, they are working and don't have time for social media like they used to. Maybe a good trend coming?