| This isn’t a new issue and in past times societies found a solution for this, that solution is what some would call “patriarchy”. Throughout our evolutionary history males have been terribly unsuccessful at procreating compared to females. Which is why many societies essentially enforced rules of one woman for one men and made promiscuity a sin even more so for women. Societies who didn’t tended to be much less stable and productive in the long run as they had a very large population of males that essentially had nothing to work for and no future. This was also enforced by biology as sexual activity was very risky for women as the likelyhood of them getting pregnant was very high. And a pregnant woman even today would find it quite difficult to manage on her own and most men do not want to raise someone else’s child. Now in a very short period of time we have had 2 major social changes in regards to women. Birth control which allowed women to have sex without the fear of getting pregnant and women entering the workforce in droves an for the most part as equals which meant that they were no longer dependent on men to provide for them and more importantly that a career became a socially acceptable life development path for women. This essentially means that today women don’t need to settle for “lesser” men any more and can actively compete for the top percentage of men as they no longer compete for long term relationships and child caring support. This inevitably would result in much larger percentage of men being left out of the game. What makes this worse is that today society at least as far as the west goes essentially stepped out of its role as a matchmaker. People don’t set people up anymore, even grandmothers don’t try to marry off their grandchildren anymore.
And while that may sound archaic it was a pretty big deal in the past. Events like debutante balls and high school dances all of these were essentially there to allow the sexes to mingle in a manner that would increase the chances of coupling and this is something that goes out do fashion by the day. Despite not growing up in the US my teens were filled with events that essentially “forced” people to ask each other out and that was a pretty good way of teaching people how to actually well date or at least approach a member of the opposite (or same) sex. I’ve used to dismiss the whole “incel” phenomenon but I’ve learned that many people that I interact with on a daily basis suffer from this to some extent, I’ve worked with more than a few “30 year old virgins” all of them were while not perfect couldn’t be further from some hate spewing troll on the internet. Those who aren’t and do still manage date also struggle a lot especially if the only dating they have time for is online dating / tinder and especially if they have a limited social circle that can’t help them out. I only hope is that we find a solution and strike a good balance before alternatives come into play or worse before socities would amass a critical mass of “incels” because when you have a lot of angry men who can’t get laid civil unrest is quite likely to follow. |