[bcantrill]

Your children are young, and the tools that are working for you now will not be as effective as they get older. In particular, if you are leaning on shame and restriction of freedom to punish, you are sowing the seeds of teenage rebellion. You can only restrict so much freedom from a teenager, and shame only matters in as much as your opinion of them matters to them; abuse either of these, and you will find yourself with a teenager who dedicates themselves to distancing themselves as much as they can from you.

In my experience, you should rather focus on building character by developing the intrinsic rewards for good behavior: we do the right thing because it is the right thing, even if it is a more difficult path. No amount of shame and punishment can get a child to do that; it has to come from something deeper and more positive.