[xupybd]

I'm not a parent so take this with a grain of salt.

There are so many fads in parenting and they change all the time. Fads are, IMHO, dangerous and kids are not something you want to experiment on (too much). Finding someone who has raised happy children into the sort of people you'd like your kids to be would be the best way to go. Might be tricky to do in the modern world but if you can find a community of like minded people you'd be surprised how many people love to pass on their wisdom to a younger generation.

[hluska]

You know, before I had a child, I would upvoted this and likely written a comment about how much your opinion matches mine. But, now I have a two year old and, let me tell you, these little people develop strong personalities at a young age.

My Mom and Dad were great parents, but I have to raise Lauren differently. It isn't that my Mom and Dad raised my sister and I wrong, it's just that my sister and I were our own little people with our own personalities.

If you ever want a wonderful guide to this (in real time), you should come experience bath time at the Hluska household. It's something else...

[senorjazz]

> into the sort of people you'd like your kids to be would be the best way to go

If only things were that simple. All children are different, what works well with one is a complete disaster with another.

Ultimately, I think you just have to wing it and do the best you can. You'll get it wrong most of the time and get it right not enough. But there you go. Best advice I have read is the poem:

This Be The Verse

By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don’t have any kids yourself.

[JoeAltmaier]

Its like gardening - the best thing for a garden is the gardener's shadow. Same thing with kids. Spend time with them, and be deliberate in what you talk about.