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by defertoreptar 2965 days ago
One thing I learned from "Winning friends and influencing people" is that when there's an argument, start by pointing out the things you agree with. "Yes, there was a bug. Yes, a bug caused it to freeze at an inopportune time. I agree that this was a terrible thing you went through."

Focusing on the "yes, I agree" areas helps you to connect with them and get on the same side. From there, they will be much more willing to reciprocate by listening to your side of things.
1 comments
hamstergene 2965 days ago
You are missing the point that in the moment one can not even remember what they have planned to do in that situation.
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defertoreptar 2965 days ago
That's the gist of what the author was saying, and he also goes on to recommend memorizing something in advance and then walking away. I too get this "can't process verbal and emotional at the same time," but I have found that I can at least be aware of "this is one of those challenging situations." From there I can go through the motions of the "agree" strategy, and stumble my way back to my feet from there.

Maybe it wouldn't work for the author, but I've found success with it.

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