[danra]

> This hits pretty close to home. I've been seeing therapists for my anxiety but they haven't really helped much

My personal experience was similar - I’ve seen numerous therapists over the years before finally meeting a therapist who did help very much. It seems to me that finding a good therapist - one who is both objectively good at his job and subjectively fits your needs in his work method and personality - is hard.

I think this is something that gets missed a lot. Any therapist worth his salt would tell you that therapy is a long process which requires time to succeed. And that’s true, but it also makes it even harder to find a good fit. None of my non-matching therapists ever told me I should consider a different therapist, even when in retrospect it was the right thing to do after giving their own process a good long chance. While the principal-agent problem may be a factor, I think the main reason is the therapists’ sincere will to help (with their own process). But it also means that unless you are already aware of the fact that therapists aren’t all similar, given the super-subjective nature of the therapy process, you might incorrectly give up on the prospect of finding a good therapist for you, or be stuck with a non-matching therapist for too long.

I wouldn’t usually share something this personal on HN, but I did hoping it might encourage you to not give up on finding your therapist.

[mephitix]

Thank you! I have heard this (keep trying other therapists before finding one that works for you) before from others but never from someone who went through it. So I really appreciate you sharing this.