[harlanji]

The equation of power is shifting from “Money and willingness to do Evil” to “Persuasiveness and reach,” according to Scott Adams. So while previously cries for help like this meant nothing and were an invitation to private torment, now they can work for this author with this audience. I’m extensively documenting my plight into what looks like a homeless end game, going on for 5mo now, and I am pretty sure most depression symptoms/feelings are actually disappointment/shock/dejection inflicted by those who help was sought from. Where are those friends and mentors? Theirs probably taught them to be heartless by example, people pass on their injuries. I’m not MRM but I can’t say there aren’t valid points like male disposability. Thankfully I am able to detach from my emotions and go about my days in joyful solitude but I’d rather just move on and not be put into boxes based on the past; interesting how many comedians are child abuse survivors. My view of humans as savage with a capacity for empathy emerged, as opposed to the opposite I’d felt in my years as a beloved winner/good friend/etc with an envied life. “Comedy is truth and pain,” indeed. I am now ostracized for looking conservative in SF, ex-BF even questioned if I am racist while wearing a shiny Fuck Trump shirt to my house. Silver lining is I am now much more able to feel the ostracization my younger brother felt in his short life, a tearful “nobody believes me” is burned into my memory from one conversation with him as kids. Kudos to OP for finding a platform, but this level of emoting still sends most people straight into “needs help not associating whisper whisper” mode. Even guys you feel are sensitive and who you have helped aren’t there, in fact they are the first to start picking up social capital you’re losing. As an outside observer of my own plight I can laugh along with the people who’ve received my communications asking for help, and predict their power moves, knowing one day perhaps our roles will be reversed and I can bend their minds with kindnesss. Hope things keep going for OP but we’re nowhere near acceptance of men without a platform having feelings and tears not made out of money. We create our own reality and too many people are scared to step out of the box and try stuff like this, in any case, and I hope it’s beneficial.