[matte_black]

What I don’t understand is why so many people (at least women anyway) come to dating apps and declare they are just “looking for friends”.

Is this really a thing or is it code for something else? Who is really so oblivious to think that looking for friends of the opposite sex on a dating app where people are there for more than just friendship is a good idea?

I would never go on a dating app to find platonic friends. That is exactly the last place I would go.

[laurieg]

Some people are using "just looking for friends" as a filter. They want the person who talks to them to be ok with being friends first before they switch to being romantic.

There is often an element of self-deception too. "I'm not the sort of person who would use a dating app, I don't need it" You see a lot of "I'm just trying out this app to kill time" people too.

Other people use it as a built-in refusal. They can say "Sorry, I'm just looking for friends" when they are asked on a date by someone they aren't interested in. When someone more appealing asks them out no one will complain that they aren't following their "just friends" rule.

Dating is full of interesting meta-behaviour like this.

[nojvek]

Just friends == polite way of ‘not interested’

[55555]

"Just looking for friends" is BS 100% of the time and "No one night stands" is BS 90% of the time. This comes from my personal experience. It's plausible deniability for the girl so if her friends see her on Tinder she doesn't get slut-shamed (Tinder has a bad rep).

[CPLX]

People say that on dating apps to create plausible deniability. If a friend, family member, or co-worker spots the profile and says hey what were you doing on that app they have an excuse. That's doubly true for those that are "kind of" dating someone who might wander across the profile.

[alexashka]

They're looking for attention, while protecting their ego in case anyone asks why they were on there - 'oh I was just bored, haha'.

[cgag]

I think purity is more fitting than ego.

[xkcd-sucks]

Code for "hookup that sleeps over, repeatedly"