[ukulele]

I've always thought of ambivalent as meaning no strong feelings either way, but I see that it can also mean mixed feelings (even strong ones). Is there a word that doesn't also include the first part, where it means solely having strong mixed feelings?

[pavlov]

Torn?

"I'm all out of faith / This is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed / Lying naked on the floor ..."

[ggambetta]

And appropriately for this story, "illusion never changed / into something real" :)

[ScottBurson]

I've always thought of "ambivalent" as indicating fairly strong mixed feelings. I think it's actually the word you want. For the first meaning, I would go with "indifferent".

[duncanawoods]

"Conflicted" seems to capture it but isn't very poetic.

There is more interesting language available if you are oscillating between views e.g. "vacillate" but not really the same as ambivalence.

[HarryHirsch]

"Zwiespältig"

[soVeryTired]

Goodbad