[rokhayakebe]

Rejoice, Matt, for YOU are one of the few who for the rest of their lives get to say "We knew each other for 23 years and we were married for 18 years,"'till death did us apart. If I can say such a statement in the end I will cry one tear of gratitude for every tear of sorrow. I hope you can find the strength.

[clhodapp]

He lost a person that he greatly loved at a relatively young age and you presume to tell him to be happy about it because now he can lord his widowed status over people. I'm generally not into making direct personal character attacks on the internet but I think that outlook is disgusting.

[dang]

This breaks the site guidelines, which ask "Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize." For example, abritinthebay pointed out one that is both more plausible and stronger.

I'm sure that rokhayakebe means well (and I'm sure you do). Different people and cultures have different ways of offering condolence. It's what's in the heart that matters and that can't easily be judged online.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

[clhodapp]

Noted. I've apologized and will be more careful in the future. Thanks!

[abritinthebay]

I think you’re misreading that but it’s a bit clumsily written so it’s understandable.

Celebrating what you had, and the persons life with you, rather than dwelling on the loss is actually recommended as a healthy way to grieve (though we each grieve differently)

[rokhayakebe]

Thanks, I accept how you read it through your lenses and responded in kind, but it does not reflect my intent and feeling.

[clhodapp]

Thank you for clarifying. I apologize for my overly aggressive response.

[rokhayakebe]

It's All Love, Friend. If I am honest your comment will make me write more clearly and choose words more wisely. Everyone can/should improve.