[ada1981]

Yes. Learning how to unhook from other peoples trauma and pain was really critical in my recovery.

I realized that very often the charge we feel to dig in and solve someone else's issue is often linked to our own unhealed past.

Ironically, it's when we heal ourselves that we can actually be of the highest service to those who are hurting.

[icc97]

> Ironically, it's when we heal ourselves that we can actually be of the highest service to those who are hurting.

I think it's a two fold improvement, you stop being an emotional burden to others who worry about you and you are also more able to support them with their other worries.

[ada1981]

Agreed.

And in many cases the relationships we co-create when wounded are co-dependent and so those "worriers" who view emotions as a burden ultimately can't help us anyway -- if they haven't made peace with their own despair, for example, they will never be able to make room for us and will only amplify the pain.

Once we take responsibility for our own pain, we are less drawn to hide out taking responsibility for others instead of dealing with our own. And that allows us to lovingly empower others to take responsibility for their pain as well.

Of course, we can model what that looks like, we can help them feel pain that they are afraid to touch, but once we show them it's safe to hold, they will reorient towards it quite organically in my experience.

[goodroot]

> Ironically, it's when we heal ourselves that we can actually be of the highest service to those who are hurting.

Beautifully said. After creating my own healing, I feel compelled to give back in some way. Anytime I see a thread like this, it's a reminder how much work there is to do.