[psyc]

The funny thing is that I knew the answer immediately upon reading the title. I got the flu (the actual flu) about 10 years ago, and was out of work for over a week. It was my very first staycation, and I didn't have any contact with anyone. During that time, even though as sick as I've ever been, I completed and released my first iOS game (a very zippy direct-to-OpenGL implementation) and added a substantial number of features to my desktop game engine.

It was amazing. I felt so alive. However, at this point, I could (somewhat tongue in cheek) credit this week with ultimately ruining my life and career. I became obsessed with recapturing that feeling, and with finding a way to support myself with my own work (as opposed to the company's work). I quit my job one year later and happily worked on my own stuff for the next 2 years. This began a pattern of living on the ramen budget, being a single hermit, only going to work when I'm broke, and quitting after a year or less. Disastrous. Why, as I write this, I haven't gone to work in over 2 years, and I'm broke again and looking for a job. I have unprofitable side-projects and repos out the wazoo though.

What makes me most productive is when I truly love what I'm working on.

[Vinnl]

Same here. Half a year ago I quit my job to start working on something I consider important (open access to academic articles), and it's been my most productive half-year ever. That said, I have set a deadline for myself for having to be able to fund my regular living expenses in six more months though, either by having obtained a grant to cover the remaining start-up costs, by working part-time given that I still believe I can make it self-funding if I spend more time on it, or give it up altogether and hopefully use the experience to find a more stable job doing something I consider important.

[psyc]

I encourage you to stick to these realistic plans. I have succumbed to bargaining with myself lately. I said, "If this project does not get X users or make Y dollars in Z time, I will get a job." Then, I said, "I will make a smaller-scoped thing that may have more mass-appeal, and if that fails, I will get a job." Then it was, "I will go all out trying to market these things, and if that fails, I will get a job." I made the decision to stop the foolishness and really start looking for a job full-time only yesterday.

[Vinnl]

Thanks for the advice. I'm very aware of the inclination to start bargaining, although I'm not sure yet it that's enough to prevent it properly. To be fair, there's been some bargaining already, which I feel can't really be avoided given how some initial assumptions may be wrong. For example, I've observed that I've had retention problems after my first launching, so I'm currently switching things around a bit to see if I can lower that barrier to entry. Initially, I'd planned to have x users at this point, but I don't think it's that odd to try a few more small experiments to see whether there's still potential in it. I just hope that not being afraid to throw them out will be enough to stop in time.

However, I also know that especially the part where "I might start working part-time if I feel there's still potential in it" has a lot of wiggle-room for bargaining in terms of whether there's really potential. But then at least it'll just be a side project again, which will hopefully keep me grounded :)

[projectramo]

I am surprised no one has said "can't you capture that feeling in another job"

Thinking out aloud, the things you may like about what you were doing: creativity, problem solving, programming, the debug loop, focus etc probably exist in other tasks.

However, in order to be useful there are many "boring" to you (but interesting to others) things that have to be done: someone has to raise money to support you while you work on it, someone has to convince others they should spend money on it and so forth.

Ideally, you would focus on what you love, but let others do the parts you don't, which is exactly what a company ought to be.

Perhaps you can recapture that feeling in the context of a company.

[psyc]

This would be ideal! I've been able to capture something like this for brief periods, but it's an unstable situation. Most of the time, processes and team dynamics strike me as highly dysfunctional, as if designed to destroy productivity. I have worked on about 10 different teams, and 4 of those were pleasant and reasonably productive experiences. The rest I could mine for a lot of stand-up comedy material.

The main problems: Autonomy, ownership, and true responsibility. Even for people with 'senior' in their title, on many teams/companies these are nowhere to be found.

[fsloth]

Thanks for this! It's a cliche to say "do what you love, don't care what anyone else says" but seldom do we get these honest retrospectives to underpin how hard it can get if you actually follow this advice. Good luck on your job search!

[psyc]

Oh and I hope I didn't accidentally romanticize it. I do have a sense of humor about it, and I do truly love my projects, but I believe 9 out of 10 more objective onlookers would agree I have actually ruined my life and career.

The first time I did this, my project was never released, but it directly got me my next job. It was a very good job, and I wouldn't have landed it otherwise. The second time I did this, I found a job pretty quickly. This is the third time, and the first time that recruiters are all drilling me about the gaps and why I quit each job. Drilling me. I'm getting the distinct impression that I'm starting to push my luck, and plus I'm old now.

[sodafountan]

What are some of the projects you built while you were doing this? Could you provide some links? I'd love to check them out

[muzani]

It sounds like you need some of the pressure that comes with limited time. A part of the high also seems to happen when hacking. It's hard to get the same high if you're building for the next 3 months, as opposed to hacking something in a week or a day.

[bpicolo]

> What makes me most productive is when I truly love what I'm working on.

I suspect that's true for almost everybody, hah. I can really grind it for a month when I've stumbled upon an intriguing new side project

[badpun]

Hah, I ruined myself in exactly the same way, except that I was writing a poker bot. I loved it so much that I did not hold a job for longer than a year since.

[mooneater]

did it work out?

[badpun]

I've spend about 2 years of full time work on the bot. In the end it was not worth it in monetary terms (was making maybe $1000 per month while requiring very heavy support), but it rekindled my interest in maths and programming. Also, the experience gained allowed me to catch some highly paid long-term contracts (most of them boring as hell). Now I spend maybe 60% of my time doing those and 40% regaining my sanity, toying with side-projects etc. I'm dreaming of switching to doing interesting work as a full-time job (as opposed to a hobby), but the competition in such fields (computer vision etc.) seems to be dramatically higher than in what I do for money today. I'll probably do the switch in the next couple of years anyway, as I'm slowly approaching mini-FU money.

[vinchuco]

what percentages of skill would you say were transferable to and from your independent and professional work?

[psyc]

It’s extremely highly transferable, which has already saved my butt twice. I mainly work on games and game engines, as a hobbyist and professional.

But, like, why oh why could I not have had a passion for bingo cards and money ... sniff.