[sojourner]

What I hear in the story is that Tom is feeling incredibly frustrated at having to not only plan for the company's long-term growth, but that he's repeatedly brought up the fact that you and Jerry's reactive strategies work to help increase everyone's workload. And this particular latest straw, in which Jerry not only agrees to extra work, but then tries to reassign it to Tom, is viewed by Tom as something only a dedicated crazymaker would do.

If I were in your shoes, I would hire a facilitator for the next meeting. An earlier response mentioned being on the same page as being very important and I have to agree. I think having a professional facilitator will help you, Tom and Jerry (wait -- Tom and Jerry like the cat and the mouse?) hear each other.

Good luck.