[peterangular]

> "taxing physically, mentally and emotionally" it's supposed to be "Rewarding, stress leaving, and healthy"

Have you dated in a major metro within the last 2-3 years? It's a pissing match of who can care less so-as to not come off as needy and/or thirsty.

A large majority of the people I am meeting on these platforms/real life are serial daters and I'm just one random guy in a LOOONG string of encounters. You can literally tell who's new to the dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 9/10 times anything happens - they don't have "war stories".

I can _absolutely_ understand why someone says that it's taxing "physically, mentally, and emotionally" because it absolutely is for a lot of people.

[dragonwriter]

> Have you dated online in a major metro within the last 2-3 years?

If that sucks, why do it? Almost everyone I know that is actively dating (major metro or no) has had better experiences meeting people through meatspace activities centered around interests than online.

Online dating seems to be the modern iteration of the singles bar scene, which sucked for much the same basic reasons.

[peterangular]

Because you hit a certain age where a HUGE chunk of people within the ( your_age / 2 + 7 ) algorithm are already spoken for. Online dating helps because both people are looking for "something" and that can avoid a lot of difficult social situations.

I've met single people through meatspace activities and often it comes with the exact same difficulties of online dating.

I'm editing that line to read "have you dated in a major metro..." - thanks for the heads up.

[brad0]

Agreed, the online dating scene isn't for everyone.

However if you don't have interests that have women in it how do you meet them genuinely?

[brad0]

> You can literally tell who's new to the online dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 1/10 times anything happens

Can you go into more detail on this?

[peterangular]

Was suppose to be 9/10 whoops. People are not able to really compromise these days because we live in a very individualistic society. Any sort of dependency on another person is seen as weakness, especially if you're a man.

Within the relationship context this causes many couples to not be able to hit the required escape velocity to exit the honeymoon period (3-6 months on average). If you're in a major metro, there is a multitude of additional options that are fresh and new so why compromise?

This is destructive to an individual's ideals within the relationship context because either you dig your heels in just like your opponent and move on to the next partner (easy/common), or you both decide to calibrate and compromise (hard/rare).