[superjared]

"I tell computers and cell phones what to do"

[novum]

Computers do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do.

[TimMontague]

And that's why us programmers have jobs. We're professionals at telling computers what to do.

Which reminds me of a good xkcd comic about the question "what do you do?": http://xkcd.com/722/