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by kqr
3064 days ago
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It lacks coherence and overview and structure. I'm sure you'd agree that taking related "and thens" and wrapping them up in a procedure would be helpful. The next step after that is coming up with more informative relations than "and then". A description like "I went off the platform and then on the train and then I looked at the nearest seat and then I saw it was occupied and then I looked at the next seat and then I saw that was occupied too snd then I repeated that and then I saw an empty seat and then I walked toward it and then I sat down and then ..." is begging for structure by wrapping up into procedures "I boarded the train, and then I located the closest free seat, and then I sat down in it ..." with the obvious definitions. That can in turn can be further improved to "After boarding the train I sat down in the first free seat ..." where the relations between the things are more useful than "and then". |
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https://youtu.be/-iZWAsRyQl4