[jdowner]

I try (and struggle) to be calmer/kinder. There are a lot of good suggestions here, and I have tried most of them. They work but I have found it hard to stick with them.

One idea you may want to consider is to do something pro-active to create calm, rather than using a retro-active approach. One place I have found that useful is when driving. I live in Boston. Drivers are a little aggressive. It is easy to get into a cycle of aggression and frustration. But I found that by trying to be more generous and accommodating (allowing space in front for people to merge, always slowing down when someone indicates they want to merge), it was easier to shrug off the actions of others when they were inconsiderate.

I would also hold the image of a duck in my mind. Odd, yes. It comes from the expression, 'like water off a ducks back.' It describes someone who does not let some issue become a burden that weighs on them. Rather, they 'let it go'... which is a phrase that I would say to myself to reset and imagine the weight sliding off my back like water on a duck. And then the movie 'frozen' came out and now when I say 'let it go...' I mentally start singing the song of the same name. Singing is not a bad solution either :)