[yesenadam]

Sure it's possible. At the same time, that degree of calmness and kindness sound virtually like super-powers - very advanced stuff. Not many people at all could do that. Probably you'd have to also deal with a lot of your personal shit to not be triggered in those situations. I know I'm not so advanced as that.

I got a lot from a wide range of self-help books. e.g. early Wayne Dyer, SARK; psychological books, e.g. New Guide to Rational Living; spiritual books e.g. new age, hindu, sufi, xtian, buddhism of various kinds.. Too many to name, and everyone needs something different - I just took what was helpful from a wide range of stuff.

Since you seem to know the kind of things you want to improve in, maybe Ben Franklin's method would work (it sounds not very different from the catholic "examination of conscience" written about on this page) : rule up a page with a grid, with the virtues/habits to want to see in yourself down the side, the days along the top. Then at the end of each day, you put a black spot at each virtue/habit you've lapsed in that day.

Patience with yourself is vital, loving yourself - treating yourself like you would someone you really love. (I used to say awful things to myself in a way I'd never talk to another person).. Good luck! I get the feeling you're already better at this stuff than most people.