[cpfohl]

Even as an introvert it's always people.

After college, before getting married my (now) wife and I had the same problem - but we noticed it wasn't just us: everyone we knew felt lonely. We decided to start getting together with all our friends and acquaintances almost every night after work. We hosted or set it up for about two weeks before it took on a life of its own and we didn't have to be present for each night; our acquaintances (at that point friends because of the magic of "spending time together") started setting stuff up on their own. It lasted for about a year or two, where you could pretty much always count on someone to be around who you'd want to hang with.

Keep in mind that I'm mildly introverted, but my wife is much moreso - and both of us enjoyed this immensely.

You're an introvert, so you probably are intimidated by meeting a large crowd of people you don't know. I know I am. Meetups are hard. Joining a group for an activity is hard. The nice thing about asking the friends/acquaintances you do have (however distant) if they want to make dinner at 5, join you for a drink at 6, or play this new game you got is that you've skipped the hard part about meetups by only meeting people you already know.

Just a reminder introversion is not anti-social.

[jchw]

I'm pretty lonely too, but I have two problems:

1. I don't feel like I have enough energy to do things after work, and I find myself unable to socialize for long periods of time.

2. My friends, or at least friends I know in the real world, are running into number 1, and often have different work schedules anyways.

Modern society feels isolating. When I try to be social, I find many people are disinterested. I myself hardly have any energy to be social even though I feel like it would be good for me. Perhaps general health has something to do with this too, but it sure isn't convenient.

[dasmoth]

I think the obsession of many modern workplaces with “team stuff” is making things pretty hard for some introverts. If I could work (truly —- i.e. no interruptions at all unlesss something’s on fire) solo for a couple of days a week, I suspect I’d be a whole lot more sociable in the evenings...

[jchw]

Open office designs kill me worse than teamwork. It feels like I'm being bombarded with senses that I have to tune out to be productive but can only do that for a portion of the time.

[cpfohl]

No work from home option for you? Can't take Tuesday Thursday to get stuff done?

[dasmoth]

I do to an extent, and certainly appreciate it!

But it’s hard to disconnect completely when everyone else is at work. Having a corporate chat system doesn’t help in this regard, but even without that the interruptions come.

A couple of times last year I ended up doing a fullish day of work at the weekend for some or other urgent project. Now that I find amazingly productive, going on outright invigorating. Not something I really want to make a habit of though (family, plus no shortage of ideas for side projects).

I do dream of true team-of-one jobs...

[cpfohl]

1. Right, that's why we started it with dinner at first. It was pretty much always grilling something or heading out for chicken wings... 2. A wide catchment is key here. It's not just one or two people to start with, it's an open invite to everyone for a time boxed meal, drink or irritating party game.

It's exhausting at first. Kind of like working out.

[afarrell]

Some friends of mine in Boston used to (might still) hold regular "Monday night in" where friends would come by the house and sit on the couches and read, occasionally talking quietly.

[blaster151]

That sounds like a social event that I wouldn't dread. :)

[aerialcombat]

Almost every night! wow. Gotta try this.

[cpfohl]

I started with every night to make it a habit. Afterwards it was simply calling around to find out who had set something up. And when the mood struck I'd head to the Clay studio and spend some quality time with inanimate objects. It was awesome.