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> All the recovering addicts I know are still addicted to something in one way or another. The new addiction may or may not be a healthy one. For instance, running 100+ miles a week, every week - while objectively better than drinking yourself out of a job and home - isn't exactly "healthy". So very, _very_ frequently, addiction isn't "the" problem, it's a symptom of one. The behaviors you mentioned are in the same vein, something used as a way to work around whatever the problem may be. In my case, the relief I experienced from alcohol blocking out an underlying anxiety problem I didn't understand I had (and made me not care about the ADHD problem I knew I did have), it was like a miracle. The inability to speak to others, rationally work through life's tough issues, heck even my grades went UP... everything got better. And for a good 16 years it kept on being that miracle to me, going so far as to hide the worsening social, emotional, and mental calamities it was causing. > I also notice a higher level of selfish behavior among the recovering addicts I know. It takes an insane amount of pathological selfishness to neglect your responsibilities, especially children, for the bottle. Funny thing about this... I've come to believe that most folks who haven't experienced addiction just can't initially grasp the fact that (assuming an underlying psychological/emotional issue), the addict doesn't see the addiction as selfish, even when it disrupts everything else in their lives. There's this inexplicable compartmentalization that occurs when self-medicating via addiction, sort of like, "They don't understand how this helps me!". Which, in a way is true; they don't. But neither does the addict. Most folks who are on their way down to the rock-bottom don't understand that the activity or substance is a (terrible, and temporary) way to deal with a larger problem they either don't know they have or don't know how to properly address. All they know is that it works. Even when their destructive behavior completely isolates them, leaving them feeling alone and hopeless because it feels like everyone is against helping you to feel better, it still feels like it works. > AA doesn't seem to address the selfishness as much as just to get folks to stop drinking. AA, in its own way, does its level best to address this given the understanding of psychology/psychiatry at the time the Big Book was written. And to be fair, if everyone actually mustered up enough strength and humility to get past Step 5 (heh, myself included), this might be less of a concern. But from a 30k foot view, it IS a good framework to approach lasting recovery, and you replace "selfishness" with "underlying psychological problem causing the addiction" in your observation, it's probably a bit more of a clearer picture. For me, and for the vast majority of the wonderful people I lived with during my 6 months in a sober living facility, meetings were only going to be as effective as long as I was being monitored. Some folks (like myself) even found that attending meetings and hearing stories about drinking was a trigger, and although I appreciated the friendships, it was counterproductive. What ultimately and completely removed my desire to self-medicate with whatever was on hand was CBT. The meetings were absolutely necessary for the initial support I needed to stop the destructive behavior, but CBT gave me the tools I truly needed to understand why I felt the way I did, and how to handle the thoughts and emotions that seemed to come from nowhere all my life. Although I am a believer (and give Him the credit for all I am today!), CBT has the benefit of not requiring anything other than walking the difficult path through your own screwiness. Once you've acquired the tools to handle your own brain, attending meetings may not even be necessary in order to maintain lasting sobriety. As always, YMMV, CBT is powerful enough that I'm of the mind non-addicts oughta do it too. Heck, the world would probably be less messed-up place. Today, I'm ok with not tracking my time spent sober or keeping a heavy constant focus on what was a symptom of my problems. I'm screwed up in all kinds of clinically fascinating ways, but now I deal with it sans substances. |