[aennyta]

I am really sorry to hear that. I can't say I have been there, but I was going down that line and so I took a career break. I didn't even feel I need it, but once I was on the break and stepped back from everything, I realised how bad the situation was before.

Since career break didn't work out for you, I really strongly suggest talking to a professional. I would start with company's HR and counsellor (they often have them in "big 5") and ask for some time off for medical reasons. Personal well-being is the most important thing. Being on autopilot and feeling miserable might lead to even worse things, so please step back and talk to someone in person.