[zapperdapper]

I would talk to someone directly. You sound very unhappy.

I wasn't quite clear if the problem was the work or the company? It's something that needs to be dived into and had a good look at because there could be imbalance in your life leading to depression. So you need to look at things like diet, sleep, exercise, relationship etc. It's possible you need to rebalance - it's possible you need a new career. A career break should never be a hindrance to a new job, and should often be a selling point, as long as you've used that time sensibly.

So in short, talk to a career coach or counsellor. Try and get some more face to face help. You say you work for a big company - they often have help lines for employees run by third parties - use it!

[twayamznacct]

> I wasn't quite clear if the problem was the work or the company?

I honestly don't have a complete answer for this. I mean, I know the work is a major problem, but it's not the only factor by far. It's definitely the one front and center, however.

As for other "life" things, I believe I do well there. I get 8 hours of sleep, I exercise 4 days a week, eat healthy, etc. No relationships but I'm antisocial to a tremendous degree so there's not much helping me there.

I appreciate the comments. Thank you!

[zapperdapper]

> No relationships but I'm antisocial to a tremendous degree so there's not much helping me there.

That may be partly the issue. Studies into "happiness at work" often show it's not the work itself that necessarily determines happiness, but the quality of the relationships you have at work. For example, some work that may seem tedious and dull can become quite interesting if you are working on it together with someone you like and respect - and it's even better if you can have a blast with them. On my last gig for example I was doing dreadfully tedious work, but it was made better because several people I worked with were just awesomely nice people and we tried to have some fun too. Perhaps there's someone at work that you can buddy up with, and your manager might be able to help you there.

Having a relationship can be an important factor too - apart from anything it helps you get out of your own head and relax. Do you do any social activities on the weekend? It might be worth joining a cycling club, a running club or even a Crossfit box - you say you like exercise, something where there are other people to talk to. Just being around other people and talking to them will help - I know this is like hell on Earth if you are basically shy, so this is something you are going to have to ease into gently and get support if you need it - it will get easier.

Having said all that this is a difficult thing to diagnose and remedy via HN! As mentioned before you might find it worth talking to a career coach or perhaps even a counsellor. Feel free to email me if you want.