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by azernik 3094 days ago
There is a sex/BDSM/cuddle party scene at a lower economic level, but that's a pre-existing part of Bay Area culture; the roots are more in the gay Leathermen/Folsom Street culture, and the hippie/tantra 60s counterculture, than in rich VCs. There is increasing techie representation in that subculture (mostly engineers), but that's because every Bay Area subculture that's open to the middle class has a lot of techies these days.

Of course, this scene tends to be explicitly feminist, disproportionately queer/trans, and anti-classist (public events tend to have sliding-scale prices and opportunities to volunteer for free admission). I didn't read the article in detail, but a lot of the bits and pieces sound like an upper-class, MUCH more heteronormative, more patriarchal attempt to reproduce those experiences. (e.g. explicitly gender-differentiated rules, which tend to create a mentality of men chasing sex and women giving it.)

1 comments

I'm glad you brought this up, because I think it's important to emphasize just how different and disconnected these scenes are, so that one doesn't get swept up in coverage of the other. Especially as the elites making up the one described in the linked article are contributing toward pushing out the existing queer/kink scene (eg. through loss of venues to gentrification). And the latter culture, as I know it, is far, far more concerned with consent and equity than you'll generally find in straight/vanilla spaces, tying back into decades-long histories of actual liberatory struggle.
And the latter culture, as I know it, is far, far more concerned with consent and equity than you'll generally find in straight/vanilla spaces, tying back into decades-long histories of actual liberatory struggle.

I've been to two cuddle parties. They are very concerned with consent, and I have to say that their facilitation is very well thought out. I don't think I'd put them in the same general category as other parties mentioned here, which I'd call a "bacchanal." For some attendees, it's a cross between a party and a form of group therapy.

Yeah, I definitely agree - and in terms of the people involved they have a lot of overlap with the kink scene, though they do tend to be a more straight and cis subset.
I think the loss of venues is overstated; generally, the opportunity for cheap/free admission for those in need, combined with techies able to contribute more to events and venues, has worked.

Alchemy closed, only to have the space taken by Catalyst, which continues to provide events at a similar price point. It's just a new set of owners who had the cash to make the necessary fire safety renovations.

Wicked Grounds is finally on firm financial footing, and events there now pass around a donation jar (well, pumpkin) for local non-profits instead of for the cafe itself.

The Armory has become a high-end, upper-crusty events/classes venue for people (mostly hetero couples) who know nothing and are willing to shell out $150 for a class, but by pushing out the kink.com filming sets rather than displacing a local community venue.