I don't think you're including current/former defense contractors or those that have worked in military research labs in contractor or civilian roles here, but I believe you'll find a decent amount of those on HN.
In any case, just to add a data point, after working as a defense contractor, a lot of that culture has stuck with me years later especially in terms of security consciousness and inadvertently leaking information signals, especially in this era of more and more publicly accessible social media content.
I was a musician(tuba) in the Royal Swedish Army Band for two years. So not really military, but we did received thorough combat training.
I really enjoyed it, and it gave me really good experiences and taught me some valuable lessons. Our CO always said "You can do ten times as much as you think you can do and twice as much as we think you can do". The lesson is that when you've done X amount of work you usually feel that you can do X more work.
We spent a couple of weeks in the field training and that has taught me to appreciate comfort without needing it. Whenever I'm cold, hungry or tired I can always think: "I've had it much worse, this is nothing".
But still, I don't feel like a military man and don't identify much with it. It's just a valuable experience.
I was in the US Army as linguist. While I've been out long enough that I no longer feel like or identify as a soldier, I find I very much cherish the sense of support I always felt while in the Service. I felt as though whatever came, I'd have people around me that had my back. Civilian life doesn't seem to have that. It seems an ultimately selfish culture. No tribe.
I was in armoured reconnaissance. I'm glad I did it and there are times that I miss it. I still have some very close friends that I served with. However, it isn't really a big part of my life now. Obviously my trade doesn't directly apply to writing software but I learned a lot of lessons that I still use regularly.
I was in the US Navy on a fast-attack submarine. As a submariner, we all have a very strong brotherhood/sisterhood due to the intense conditions and rigorous training we go through to become submarine qualified, and so in that regard I identify with my military service very much.
I am a former U.S. Marine and I have found that the things you learn and the training you experience only give a glimpse of how strong the bonds you gain are in service. I will always identify with my service as there is a implicit understanding in the phrase semper fidelis, which is the Marine Corps motto. But I think that many other service members hold the same value in their service.
Current military here. Starting the process of resigning and will be out in around a year. I’ve gotten some great training, but after ten years, the job is becoming a PowerPoint and briefing hell. My masters is in CS with a focus in machine learning, so I’ll be trying to find a position leveraging that or my work in network security.
In any case, just to add a data point, after working as a defense contractor, a lot of that culture has stuck with me years later especially in terms of security consciousness and inadvertently leaking information signals, especially in this era of more and more publicly accessible social media content.