[cookiecaper]

It really just means putting yourself in places where you're likely to find people who would hire a consultant, and then getting them to a) like you and b) believe that you're competent at whatever you're trying to bill for. It's not necessarily an overnight thing, but after doing this consistently for a little while, people will start asking if you can help with XYZ as the need arises.

If you don't know where else to start, go to a local user group, or better yet, present at one. It only takes one visit to see how low the standard is at most of these things, the organizers are usually just happy to have someone willing to present, so you don't have to worry about not having anything substantial or good to present.

I had a full-time consulting income for several years predominantly from just following ads for freelancers on Craigslist, in a relatively pedestrian market. I didn't even do the basic networking stuff that is still a very good idea. The hardest part of breaking in is having the gumption to get it kicked off.

[0xcde4c3db]

> and then getting them to a) like you

What if I have no clear idea of how to do this, and the standard advice for that problem starts with stuff I don't know how to do (e.g. talk to people like a normal human who craves face-to-face social validation)?

[cookiecaper]

>What if I have no clear idea of how to do this, and the standard advice for that problem starts with stuff I don't know how to do (e.g. talk to people like a normal human who craves face-to-face social validation)?

"Act natural". That means check out. De-intellectualize and see yourself and everyone else as an organic entity governed by subconscious organic automata; the concept that there are normal people who "crave face-to-face social validation" and a separate set of non-normal people must be discarded. There are only humans that have virtually identical biological behaviors and interactions.

Separate your conscious self, and especially your self-critical running narrative, from everything else that is happening. Experience events as a floater, not doing any self-analysis or introspection, and just being there. Once you're used to this state, start trying to nudge yourself into interacting with others without re-engaging active control or analysis. Keep floating, act without analyzing what's going on -- act impulsively. Practice this state.

Don't overcommit. There are billions and billions of people out there. Burning your chance with Person Y is very likely not as important as finding Person X, with whom you have better natural resonance. There is certainly a Person X who possesses any special features that you believe are possessed by Person Y (close enough, anyway). If you piss off Warren Buffet, you haven't pissed off Bill Gates, Carl Icahn, or the Koch Brothers. So there is no point in overanalyzing or seizing up, and the truth is, people care far less about anything you do than you think they do.

In all of this, keep the standard failsafes and overrides. Don't do smack, act violently, or otherwise engage in self-destructive or clearly-hostile social behaviors. Re-engage to suppress these impulses as necessary. Maintain basic social standards and decorum. Just fence that in as the extent of any self-checking you do during an interaction.

Master these states because they are the baseline that people expect human interaction to occur from. You have to be able to manage that to employ more involved and specific likability techniques, but those are mostly only useful as elements of conscious social engineering like being a manager. All you'll need to be socially successful on a personal basis is to unplug your self-conscious psyche.

Disclaimers: I am ugly, fat, and dumb. I am not a licensed psychologist, clinician, advisor, or any other thing that should be listened to. Everything I say is wrong and no positive results should be expected to flow from any of it.