[KoZeN]

I was keen to respond to this thread until I read the above response. Ezmobius has absolutely nailed it.

I'm an incredible proud Dad to a fifteen week old baby boy and his advice echoes every single thing I was going to say.

Then once you go back to work expect to only work on the computer when you are at work.

I'd like to elaborate on this point. Leaving Mum & baby at home will be difficult for a while, I still struggle with it immensely but it is hugely important to remember that your job is absolutely instrumental as you are now the main breadwinner and your family is relying on you to work hard every minute you are away from them. As hard as it may be to leave them at home, don't let it be a waste of time, make sure that you are giving 100% when you are away and please don't bring your work home with you if you can avoid it. Whilst at work, focus on it 100%. Don't spend all day at work wishing you were at home.

Be prepared to argue like crazy with your other half. Regardless of how strong your bond is, you will fall out. Her patience with the baby may be beyond comprehension but do not expect that patience to extend to you. As stressful as it may be for you, I can guarantee it will be worse for her, infinitely worse if she's breastfeeding. Maintain perspective and learn to let everything slide.

Final point: Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine. Sleep will become a rare and priceless commodity so it is crucial that you establish a bedtime routine from the beginning. Find a routine and stick with it. Read to your kid every single night. Even if it's just for a couple of minutes. It may seem pointless in the beginning but stick with it. Babies bedtime is now my favourite part of the day.

Good luck mate. It's an incredible journey.

[barrydahlberg]

Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine.

This. It took us 8 months to get it sorted but now our little boy just about begs to be put to bed and he sleeps 10 hours a night without a sound.

[mikecaron]

My experience 1 year into Fatherhood agrees with this. We put baby on a cyclic routine of Eat, Play, Sleep since about day 7. She was sleeping through the night at 8wks. Check out "On Becoming Babywise", Gary Ezzo.

Like all the other papas here say, BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR WIFE. Be aware that as your wife breast feeds (if she does) her hormones are still rocking to a different beat every hour. Let complaints roll off your back. Sometimes things won't make sense to you, but go with the flow. Afford her tons of generosity and selflessness. Clean the house for her, offer to take the baby so she can sleep, draw her a bath to soak in with candles and bubbles. Take her on a romantic date if she's up for it so she feels like she's still got it even though she may complain about her body often. Make her life easy and sweet and yours will be good.

Also, for a bit of relief... listen to Garrison Keilor's Fatherhood tale: http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media_player/popup.php?name...

Enjoy being daddy! It's absolutely wonderful. You will forget about working overtime. You'll want to spend any and all free time with your little one. Cheers!

[jtheory]

> Be aware that as your wife breast feeds (if she does) her hormones are still rocking to a different beat every hour.

Well, and never mind the hormones (though both parents will have a lot of these going on) -- breastfeeding quite literally takes a lot out of you. She will have more to do, but less energy than she's used to.

Just do everything you can, and then more, and look for the humor to put a smile on your face (and hers) whenever you can. It gets easier as you go along.

[pbhjpbhj]

>My experience 1 year into Fatherhood agrees with this. We put baby on a cyclic routine of Eat, Play, Sleep since about day 7. She was sleeping through the night at 8wks. Check out "On Becoming Babywise", Gary Ezzo.

Didn't your wife find that her breasts were painfully engorged by not feeding the baby all night?

[mikecaron]

@pbhjpbhj > Nope. In the early weeks, she did feed the baby about every 4 hours, but after about 8-9 weeks she woke the baby around 10pm and fed her and then again at around 6am. We considered it "Through the night" because it was solid sleep for us.

[rradu]

> Sometimes things won't make sense to you

Hilarious. I don't have a wife w a baby, but I can totally see how that situation would come up a lot.

[KoZeN]

It's absolute bliss!

We are incredibly lucky, since 10 weeks old, baby Cameron has been sleeping a minimum of 8 hours a night.

Sometimes it takes 10 weeks, sometimes it takes 8 months, either way, it's worth the effort.

Kids thrive on routine.

[mattcole]

We kind of took the other route, our daughter slept whenever there was time really. We took her backpacking across Europe for 2 months when she was 8 months old, she just slept whenever she was tired. At home she would go to bed if we were at home, but we didn't hesitate to go out for dinner or to a friends house or whatever and she'd just sleep whereever we ended up. In contrast some of our friends have kids who will only sleep if they're in their usual environment which can make things a bit tricky. We're expecting number 2 in 10 weeks, so hopefully the next one is equally easy going.

[jasonlotito]

I find kids adopt to their parents way of doing things. My wife and I are rather calm, and so are our children. They fall asleep easily enough, are happy children, and calm and relaxed.

The problem some parents have with their children is they try to change the way the children behave to something other than what they learned from their parents.

If they are the type to go out, party, invite friends over and stay up late, etc, then they should expect their children to emulate that. It's when the parents want their children to behave differently that you have a problem. This is all purely my own experience.

[pbhjpbhj]

This sounds a lot like our philosophy on sleep.

My sister gets in a panic if the kids aren't in the bath at a particular time, aren't in bed on routine haven't finished a meal at the set time, etc.. PITA I say.

We've had problems now that J has gone to school. We couldn't keep the same sleep regime as we had to be up to get to school.