[wutbrodo]

> (some of this is likely my own fault, and happens with other browsers too, since I haven't managed to cure my tabitus habit of failing to close tabs i'm still have way interested in).

I have the same affliction as you, but extensions have helped a ton. I use The Great Suspender and Session Buddy on Chrome: I can use the former to "close" an entire window of tabs and then dive right into that group of tabs with a couple of clicks. The only downside has been that I must have an Internet connection to restore the tabs.